Pilot

Rick:
Morty! You gotta come on. You got–… you gotta come with me.

Morty:
What, Rick? What’s going on?

Rick: 
I got a surprise for you, Morty.

Morty: 
It’s the middle of the night. What are you talking about?

Rick:
Come on, I got a surprise for you. Come on, hurry up.

Morty: 
Ow! Ow! You’re tugging me too hard!

Rick: 
We gotta go, gotta get outta here, come on. Got a surprise for you Morty.

Rick: 
What do you think of this… flying vehicle, Morty? 
I built it outta stuff I found in the garage.

Morty: 
Yeah, Rick… I-it’s great. Is this the surprise?

Rick: 
Morty. I had to… I had to do it. 
I had— I had to— I had to make a bomb, Morty. I had to create a bomb.

Morty: 
What?! A bomb?!

Rick: 
We’re gonna drop it down there just get a whole fresh start, Morty. Create a whole fresh start.

Morty: 
T-t-that’s absolutely crazy!

Rick: 
Come on, Morty. Just take it easy, Morty. It’s gonna be good. Right now, we’re gonna go pick up your little friend Jessica.

Morty: 
Jessica? From my math class?

Rick: 
When I drop the bomb you know, I want you to have somebody, you know? 
I want you to have the thing. I’m gonna make it like a new Adam and Eve, and you’re gonna be Adam.

Morty: 
Ohh…

Rick: 
And Jessica’s gonna be Eve.

Morty: 
Whhhh-wha?

Rick: 
And so that’s the surprise, Morty.

Morty: 
No, you can’t! 
Jessica doesn’t even know I exist! But—but, but forget about that, because you can’t blow up humanity!

Rick: 
I-I get what you’re trying to say, Morty. 
Listen, I’m not… You don’t got… Y-you don’t gotta worry about me trying to fool around with Jessica or mess around with Jessica or anything. 
I’m not that kind of guy, Morty.

Morty: 
What are you talking about, Rick?

Rick: 
You-you don’t have to worry about me getting with Jessica or anything. 
Sh-sh-she— she, she, she’s all for you, Morty.

Morty: 
I don’t care about Jessica! Y-Yyyyyyyyyyou—

Rick: 
You know what, Morty? 
You’re right. Let’s forget the girl altogether. She, she’s probably nothing but trouble, anyways.

Robot Voice: 
Arming neutrino bomb.

Morty:
That’s it… that’s it, Rick. I’m taking the wheel.

Rick: 
Get off of me, Morty!