Pilot

Louis:
Gerald Tate’s here. He wants to know what’s happening to his deal.

Jessica:
Go get Harvey.

Louis:
Trust me.
I can handle Gerald Tate.

Harvey:
I’m sorry. You say the bet’s to me?

Man:
Harvey, when are you going to leave Pearson and work for a man?

Harvey:
I’ll leave Jessica anytime you want.
You just have to formally ask.
Then, after that, why don’t you formally ask Santa Claus to bring you a pony because I’m not leaving Jessica.
I check.

Silver:
Raise. 5,000.

Harvey:
I’m all in.

Harvey:
You can pay me later.
I’ve got to go.

Harvey:
Gentlemen.

Young man:
What did you get me?

Mike:
What I said I was going to get you. A 158.

Young man:
I told you I wanted a 175.

Mike:
And I told you only one out of 100 people can score that.
You’re a B-student.
You got a 1,000 on your SATs.
If I get you a 175, they’ll know you cheated.

Young man:
So, only a genius loser can get a 175?

Mike:
Actually, no. 
I would get a 180.
Now, can I have my money, please?

Mike:
Whoa. This is only half.

Young man:
Then why don’t you go call the police?

Harvey:
How the hell did you know they were the police?

Mike:
I read this novel in elementary school, um, cops were staking out a hotel.
One of them dresses as a bellhop.
The other is a man in a suit.
And it was the exact same thing.

Harvey:
You read a novel in elementary school.

Mike:
What? I like to read.

Harvey:
And why did you ask them what time it was?

Mike:
Uh, throw them off.
I mean, what kind of drug dealer asks a cop what time it is when he’s got a briefcase full of pot, right?

Harvey:
We should hire you.
Jesus, I’d give you the 25 grand as a signing bonus.

Mike:
I’ll take it.

Harvey:
Unfortunately, we only hire from Harvard.
And you not only did not go to Harvard Law School, you haven’t even gone to any law school.

Mike:
What if I told you that I consume knowledge like no one you’ve ever met and I’ve actually passed the bar?

Harvey:
I’d say you’re full of crap.